Military Family Member | Doctoral Student,  Clinical Psychology | Pacific University

#WomenWhoServeAndSupport | #FamiliesWhoServeAndSupport | #StudentsWhoServeAndSupport

Rya’s connection to military service came through marriage and motherhood. Her former husband served in the National Guard, and that commitment shaped the trajectory of her life and the lives of her children in lasting ways — both positive and challenging.

When he left for service, she became the sole caregiver to three young children ages one, two, and eight. Managing daily responsibilities alone required strength, adaptability, and endurance. When he returned, the responsibilities did not lessen; instead, they shifted. She faced the additional challenge of supporting him through new emotional and psychological struggles while continuing to care for their children. Navigating those overlapping responsibilities made a lasting impact on her family and gave her a profound understanding of how military service affects not only those who serve, but also those who love them.

For Rya, service was sacrifice. It meant supporting her partner’s commitment to the armed forces and adapting to the demands that came with that responsibility. Over time, her understanding of service evolved. She continues to offer respect and support for what was given during the marriage, while also reclaiming her own identity beyond that of caregiver. Her journey reflects growth, strength, and self-definition.

Support from family and friends helped sustain her through difficult seasons. Their presence reinforced that no one carries these experiences entirely alone.

Her message to others in similar positions reflects resilience shaped through lived experience: her experiences deepened, rather than diminished, her capacity to care. Through hardship, she discovered strength and empathy that now inform both her personal life and her graduate studies in clinical psychology at Pacific University.

Quote:
 “War doesn’t end when our service members come home; it follows them, and it follows their families.” — Michelle Obama